just come out here and I will go home with you...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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