dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
