If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
