Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i believe in u and ur pee
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
