All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize