It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
