Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
my liver is dry heaving
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
