She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
