I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
