I just cut my nipple shaving
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
