My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
