One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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