I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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