ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize