Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This is my gift to your gina
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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