whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
im on a boat
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