Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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