I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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