do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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