Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
this just has baby written all over it
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
