Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
