I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
