Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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