i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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