So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
