Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
