he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
