Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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