Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
