Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize