I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
