oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
