Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
