well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
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