Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
