He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you had me at cake vodka
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
