Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Randomize
