Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
