where am i from again
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
