the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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