Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
