Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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