wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
