And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
