Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
