My friends, they love my intelligence
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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