I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
