So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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