she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
