Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
