I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
