Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
