Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
