You're completely useless in the revolution.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
