shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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