Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
