My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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