My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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