omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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