How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
