i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
