K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
