matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
