you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
