Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
